Balls before feelings

I have this terrible terrible trait.


Whenever I argue with people I’m intimate with; I tend to get horny. I absolutely hate it.


I’m supposed to be going through arguments with you in my head and saying the things I forgot to say in the actual argument and winning ALL the arguments.




Instead I’m thinking of kissing your nape and your collar bone and sending shivers down your spine.


I mean, who does that?


It raises the level of anger by 100 notches because now; not only am I angry at you for whatever you did, I’m also angry at you; for me being horny in an argument with you! Talk about normalcy.




I gripped the bed post for support. Anything to prevent me from scraping the melanin off Yoofi’s entirety. He had the nerve to tell me I was being dramatic and overreacting about something evidently irrelevant and of no meaning to him.


Dude magically finds enough words to construct a sentence when he’s having phone sex and when he’s fighting with me. Unbelievable




When was it made known that it wasn’t a big deal for your boyfriend to playfully grab another girl’s bottom? Since when? I didn’t get that memo.


If her ass was bigger than mine, I’m sure I wouldn’t be this vexed. But no, chic’s ass is the exact copy of Aunt ShiShi’s Saturday morning pancakes.


And he had to wear those black shorts. He just had to! And he had no boxers on. Flirt!!!!




The vibration from my phone startled me. He was calling. I pushed the phone under my pillow, and proceeded to talk to the pillow.


“You think you’re so smart Yoofi, if I were to be grabbing other guys’ asses that would be irrelevant too huh? Smartass. You better come up with a believable reason, or plague me with amnesia. Else you aint  getting  ‘some’ till thy kingdom come!”


He was still calling. I pushed the phone further away. I wish I could choke him with my tongue.

How I can allow myself to despise someone even when I feel like kissing them is just….. perfectly normal