It starts with a regurgitation of prayers
My beginning foams to the surface of my body like goosebumps sprouting out of skin
I fall a great spectacular fall on ice and I want to tell everyone the story of it accompanied with a laugh, but my shoulder and left butt cheek hurt for weeks.
To reimagine capitalism is to have hope
Hope in this government puts us all to shame
Voting feels like a boxing session to deal with rage
But after the release, the rot is still there
In Black Mirror’s last episode of its fourth season – Black Museum – Dr. Peter Dawson gets an experimental neurological implant that allows him to feel the physical sensations of others so he can diagnose faster and closer to accurate.
Damn, this needs to exist!
This female body waits 11 years for a right diagnosis
I learn that for decades the male body was the standard for health and disease in medical research.
I want, for a second to be white or male or rich
Not for the perks
Only for the urgency and privilege
A synonym for exist is fester
I fester in this realm
I’m fine is a knee-jerk
My life is marked by an inconsolable longing for every breath to be impactful
Every sniff and sob
Every yes we can! and yes we must!
Every gain and ache
Psalm 56:8 cradles me to bed
Pain remains in my body
like an intense desire that has no desire to climax
my brain absorbs it
my mind resists it
my body never stops protesting
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel for the pain
I teach my nephew how to tell everybody
that I occupy the space of both his favourite Aunt & Uncle
In a phone conversation a mother chants
“no more surgeries” into God’s ears.
Motherhood will stretch you raw
Made in Africa shirts and Africa is not a village crop tops
made by African millenials living outside the continent
are cute and will look great on me with red lipstick.
But I want to do more for home than use it as a prop
as a response to being used as a prop.
What a joy it would be to have all the answers
I sometimes imagine Nkrumah as a millennial
Will he thrive in Fadama?
Will the healthcare system hold a brother down?
Will he be heartbroken?
What would he do differently?
Will he be able to afford 3 years rent?
Will he be a committed activist?
Small business owner slash entrepreneur?
Will he be wildly patriotic and leading revolutions?
Is this imagination a romanticized way of clinging to the past
instead of fixing the present?
Anyway, I digress.
What I really want to say is,
Where the fuck are we going as a country?
Aging and friendships:
A tree shedding its leaves.
I am confrontational about my grief
Wounds don’t just dissipate into thin air
But after a while,
You learn to leave quietly.
What I really want for Christmas is to be able to pair happiness with chronic
But I’ll settle for a fully paid health insurance and rent money
Alexa, play Money by Cardi B
Black girls collaborate
Black girls persist
Black boys work hard
Black boys win some
Fifteen is such a fine number to end half-ass things